Hurt- Punishment- Reform Part - 3

Crime can definitely be vanished. Criminals can be reformed into better citizens of the society like us. For this a complete change in the education system, judiciary system and society has to come in the picture. Children should be given value added education and not just bookish education. The main motive of education should not only be to help a child be a doctor, engineer, or accountant, but be a good and responsible citizen. Lock ups (police remands) should be a place of more counseling, rather than torturing, the people there. Their resentment, anger, jealousy, their reason for their act of crime and their mental state should be understood and healed there. Instead of making them hard core criminals, they could be transformed to a better individual.
The duty of society is to motivate them in the right path, give them proper time, be patient with them and give those lots of love and peace. The more we label them, the more we are stamping them, and they take a wrong path forever. People tend to make the same mistake again and again. This repetition of mistake happens because nobody is working on them. A person doesn’t repeat its mistake intentionally. It happens because nobody is working on their deep rooted belief that makes them commit the crime again and again. We should empathize and understand his reason of such action. We should never be judgemental.we should respect and dignify them. We should empower them and not judge them. We should always remember no one is inferior or superior. We all are equal. God has made us all equal. It’s just a few have forgotten their way. We need to get them to right track again. We need to motivate them. We can only motivate them, when we ourselves are motivated from inside. If we keep thinking that we are reforming them, or we are not motivating them whole-heartedly. Being judgmental is the biggest obstruction in process of motivating others. Even if we forgive them we keep making them realize it more and more. We feel proud of it all the time. Then also our reform process will be ineffective. We would not be able to reform them. We would not be successful in our motive. The motivator has to understand that he doesn’t reform anybody. He just energizes them, motivate them, and empower them, with our love to reform them, without being judgmental and they reform themselves by reforming their belief system.

Only appraising their strength, or speaking motivating lines or words, will not motivate them. We should first believe from within in whatever we are saying. Only when we believe in sumthing.we can make others believe in it too. Traces of impurity in actions, words or even in thoughts would amount to failure of the whole reform process. Only where there is purity in thought and belief, we can empower and reform others.

Clean Success!

TO BE CLEAN MEANS TO BE A SUCCESS!!

We usually interact based on our past experiences with them. Even if there has been a single negative experience with someone, we keep that in our mind and all our responses are based on those experiences. It’s very similar to wearing colored glasses. When we wear green colored glasses on our eyes everything we see appears to us in a shade of green. The thing we see is not necessarily green, but just because we have green covering on our eyes; everything appears to be green to us. The same happens in our relationships too. When we put the glasses of past experiences on our mindset; on our beliefs about the person, then our future also stays affected by it. When we filter our relationships in regard with our past experiences, our creativity to think better ends. This is why we do not experience any new thing in our relationship, because we have already fixed it in our mind that whatever happened in past, will again be repeated in future too. We are then, not able to be successful in our relationships.

In order to succeed in our relationships we need to keep our mind free from the experiences of the past. We can do this when we look at the uniqueness and specialty of each individual that we come into contact with. While in present we should not judge or/ and criticize anybody. We should accept them as they are, because we can’t be same in our yesterday and today. Each of us changes everyday. It’s a universal truth. Every thought we crate is different everyday, even if the situation is same. This practice makes us respect us all and be free from negativity of the past.

Hurt - punishment - Reform -Part 2

“Criminals”. The very moment we utter this word we are filled with hatredness.but why? Why this particular word does create so much of anger and resentment in us?

As per dictionary, “criminals” means a person who committed a crime; and crime means an offence against an individual or the state which is punishable by law.

Everybody in this world wants success, love, happiness, and power. The more wealth you have, the more success and power you have, the happier you are. If we like something, we should possess it. If it’s in anybody else’s possession by hook or by crook we make it ours. And this hook or crook leads to an action of crime, and the person becomes criminal. In order to satisfy our greed, we cheat, lie, threaten, Kill, and commit many other severe offences. When a person shows this kind of a behavior or action, it hurts us, and the hurt is too deep inside, which becomes hatred ness in us, and we tag them criminals. Our love, our compassion towards them dies. We show them no mercy. We punish them for their sin and we do. We wish to sentence them to death. We wish to extinct those criminals from our world .so we keep them away from our society. We discard them from our world as if they are some alien to us.

But does that fulfill the purpose of punishment? Does that bring about a change in them for good? Does that reform them?
No. instead of healing their bitterness, their resentment, punishment ignites it more in them. Their loneliness adds more to their pain, and it grows into hatredness.now their thoughts that came into action unintentionally becomes intentional. They commit more and more offences. It becomes a deep belief in them; a habit and an innocent person who unintentionally happened to commit a crime in his sub consciousness, becomes a hard core criminal.

Considering a very recent case of child shoot out in some school in gurgaon-a small child of 5 years shoot out another kid with his father’s gun in school. Immediately police was called in, and the child was arrested. We tagged him criminal. We labeled a 5 year kid as criminal. Great counselors were called in for the counseling of the children who witnessed the incident.
But who was in need of this counseling the most?
The child who killed another kid.
Were he given proper attention, care and counseling by the people?
No.
During counseling it was noticed that with every wrong action towards us from anyone, creates hatred ness towards him. At times this hatred ness is so strong that we feel like killing the person. The thought of killing is in so many of us. Infact in all of us. Aren’t we all criminals? Then why do we only tag people whose thoughts came into action, as criminals.
Why not all?

The child was going through a severe pain, loneliness, resentment, which made him do so. He was in an immediate need of love and compassion. But instead of understanding his state of mind, instead of filling his loneliness and pain with peace and love, we stated hating him. We withdrew ourselves from him and labeled him as a bad person in the society.


part-3

HURT-PUNISHMENT-REFORM 1

The very moment a person says us something wrong, or does something wrong to us, it immediately hits our emotions and we feel hurt. If anybody abuses us, insults us, we feel hurt. We are prone to hurt so much that even if a person stares at us for a minute more than usual as reaction we get hurt. Damages, loss, lies, rumors, gossips, whistle blowing, distortion, etc unethical behaviors from our seniors or juniors at work, from our family, and friends, etc, hurt us a lot. We tend to hold on to it.we keep thinking over it again and again. We keep re-living the pain and it grows big in us. It becomes gorge and stays within us. It becomes strong. We want to lash it out somewhere. We want to give back that hurt. We think the person who hurts us should also be hurt. He should also know how much he had hurt us.

“Be the mistakes is as small as mole or as big as mountain if it hurts us, the only thing that befits him is the punishment”, is what we think and a further step more we punish him. we hit them back, we abuse them physically or through words or actions, we insult them back, we hurt them back because we think they deserve it.we keep them away from us, when they need us the most. We don’t talk to them .we just turn our ears deaf to their requests. We sever our relationships from them.We just dump them out from our life and from society at times, just to teach them a lesson to have hurt us.we hurt them back and then they hurt us back again. And the cycle goes on and on. The pain keeps on moving from one to another and back. It never ends.

Nevertheless, does hurting them satisfy us? Does it heal our pain? Don’t we hurt our self more by hurting people who had hurt us intentionally or unintentionally?..Moreover hurting people whom we love… who love us.

We in our own pain tend to forget that the purpose of punishment is not to hurt them back but to make them realize their mistake, to reform them, to recreate their personality. The purpose of punishment is not to take revenge on people who have hurt us but to make them aware and conscious so that they do not make the mistake again. But because we really don’t make that effort people tend to make the same mistake again n again that resultantly hurts us a lot.

We just ignore their emotions ,their anger, hurt, resentment, in which intentionally or unintentionally they do or say something that hurt us.we don’t try to understand their situations in which they create such problems. Reform means to understand and heal the bitterness, anger, hurt, resentment; one is in to have hurt other person without passing a judgment in his actions. Instead we judge their actions, take revenge on them, and keep them away from us when they need us the most. We increase the bitterness in them and destroy our relations. Instead of actually reforming a person we deplete him more. We add more to the disorder of personality they already going through.


part-2

FACE IN - FACE OFF

Money has become a religion in itself. now no matter if a beggar is a Muslim and begs in front of the temple on the name of ram, or a beggar be Hindu and beg at the name of Allah, at the end of the day what matters is they earn much better bucks per day than a normal individual.

Power has become the supreme now. Politicians to union leaders to religious parties, everybody is ready to do or die for this supreme. They bribe, they terror, they attack, they kill, they make riots, and then they pretend to console and help the people effected by it. Ultimately they are the rulers.

Love is the most popular game now. People tend to overlook their lovers when they are with their dear friends (don’t ask me the reason, I am clueless).some just don’t accept they are committed and keep flirting. true said,”ek taraf he gharwali, ek taraf baharwali”.some marry a girl years old to him and then get divorced and fall in love with girls years younger to him. The game of friendship, dating, flirting, love, sex, and betrayal never ends. It goes on and on.

Awareness has a new meaning now. how the calf have been saved from the jaws of the lioness by her mother, how the superstar wwe champ khali showed his actions in air and got disbalanced, how the rat killed the cat, how a daughter in law terrored and killed her own father in law and blah -blah is the exclusive news of the award winning news channels. Three cheers to the new daily dramas without the word k!!!

“Success is my right”, is the message of the youths. If the luck plays its role and they be successful they dedicate their award to nobody else but themselves, and if they don’t win they sue the sponsor on the point of being unfair. Brothers are now foes. on their birthdays before blowing off the candles they make only 1 wish,” I wish, I wish I become more successful than my brither”.not just that, they even kill each other for the possession of this right.


No man in this world shows what he himself is. Everybody is a mirror…a mirror which shows what you want to see. A mirror which changes its faces every single moment. And the blame is put up on the society. The answer to all questions asked is always “THIS IS THE NEED OF THE SOCIETY”.

Well…no. this is not the need of the society. Society has always inspired to be what you are and advance yourself to be better being urself.but people have interpreted it big time. They play the game “FACE IN - FACE OFF”. Wants have increased with time. And this lust for more…
More importance….
More respect…
More praises…
More success…
More fame…
Has made the world go blind. They have become over intelligent n smart. The ray of conscience no longer exists. Everything has become illusion. For someone a face is true but in reality it is all false. When their nee of a face is over they switch over to another. They darn fear overlooking another’s need. In the faces of angels they are the evils.unjustice rules the world.

But we have forgotten, games when crossed limits have a pay. And this cost is being bared by the innocents….
The people who don’t go with the world…
The people who yet feels the existence of conscience...
The people who don’t access the game of faces….
The people who yet are themselves!!

Lies

I hate lies,
But I could never understand why?
I myself lie so many times,
Few to my parents,
A lot to my friends,
A few for big reasons,
A lot for smaller reasons,
One after another,
I kept my lies alive,
And yet I hate lies,
But I could never understand why?
One day she lied to me,
For no big reason,
I couldn’t understand why?
There was no need of her lying to me,
If once she would have said,
I wouldn’t have done it,
For I loved her for being true,
She knew it,
But she did not say me directly
Instead she lied to me.
It stuck in my heart like an arrow,
It hurted me,
I never expected she would do this to me,
I could get no reason for it,
It felt as if my trust was shattered..
Shattered into pieces,
This would never be as before again,
Yet it did not matter to her.
There were so many questions popping up in my mind every minute,
I wanted to ask her all,
But was it correct to ask her anything,
Was it anymore needed?
She would have frowned on me asking anything,
Or she would have liked it?
She would answer to me?
Or she would leave me forever?
I could understand nothing,
She had already lied to me,
She could lie again,
And I would be fooled again,
And even if she doesn’t
Would I believe her?
Wouldn’t her truth be doubted by me?
My trust was dwindling,
Was I being betrayed?
I wanted to believe her every second,
But I was unable to believe anything from her,
I could see how a small lie had shattered all my life,
And now I can understand why I hate lies!

You Are The Reason

I remember the days when that everlasting smile overshadowed my lips,
When my heartbeats were faster than the usual beats,
When I enjoyed your thoughts more than company with friends,
When I used to stay absent minded in my classes,
And my friends asked me what the matter is,
N I just said,”Yeah!”
When I had those wonderful sleepless nights thinking only about you,
When I went so conscious about my beauty,
When I did those crazy stuffs,
When I danced alone in my room,
When I just watched the raindrops and missed you,
When I lied on my bed hugging those teddies,
When I lolled on the sofa upside down,
When I experienced this wonderful feeling called love with you,
I remember the days when I fell in love with you,
When you became the reason, the only reason of the existence of my life.


I remember the day when I had my first date with you,
When the stars and the moon giggled naughtily,
When the wind blew so cold at his heights,
When the green wet meadow snuggled the dew drops so tight,
When our every sight twinkled in each other’s eyes,
When my sudden wink, made you go crazy,
When you could stop staring at me, and I kept blushing,
When you holded ma hand and hugged me tight,
When I experienced the warmth of your breath to mine,
When we shared our dreams under the deep blues sky,
When the romanticism overwhelmed our hearts,
There was nothing left behind the scene but love,
When you promised not to leave me ever,
I remember the days when I could pray nothing else but being together forever,
Amen!
When we became the reason, the only reason of the existence of my life.

I remember the days when everything went wrong,
When we stayed away from each other,
Neither did we meet nor did we talk,
When I wanted to tell you how much I missed you,
But there I found no support from you,
I had so many questions in my mind,
And there was no answer I could find,
You promised you would come back,
You promised we would be together,
You kept your words, you did return,
But I couldn’t see that love in your eyes,
You were no more the boy I loved,
You had become some big man,
And I was just a simple girl,
I never thought you would say this ever,
“We can no more be together”,
I set you free,
For they say “set your love free, and if it returns to you it’s yours”.
But you never turned back to me,
I remember the days when I did not loose hope,
When your love was the reason, the only reason for the existence of my life!

Life is not at it as best always. At times it unfolds the most ugliest part of it and you are left of nowhere. Your life comes at stake. My life had it the same. I was left all alone. I had nobody to support me then. Every passing moment seemed as if I was I was living the darkest nightmare of I could ever think of. Liveliness seemed such an absurd thing. Happiness seemed to be so fake. I had no choice but pity myself. My heart broke down. I lay disheartened. All my dreams lay shattered in front of me, and I couldn’t put them again. All my expectations became my fear. I could experience the moment of despair all around me. I was half dead. I decided to give up everything, but everything is your weakness and your strength you cannot just give it away this way. I just wished I could get back to my past and enjoy my happiness and make it alive forever, and suddenly came the realization that past was just a sweet dream. And dreams are no reality. I wished to live my rest of my life as I lived in past, but indeed that was not my life. That was the life of someone else which I dreamt of living but now I don’t have it anymore. All my beliefs had been betrayed. Everything seemed so dark and foggy filling you with despair. Suddenly I saw a ray of hope coming towards me by the almighty. On the very first scene of it I was filled with joy. My lost determination and confidence was again put up at its height. I could see the nightmare ending up. I could see a way full of fragrance of joy, love and success. A way of comfort, a sense of relief from all my despair. I felt a moment of bliss with the return of the conscience of my soul. But I could not move forward on that way for I was stuck somewere in between.I had left some work yet to be completed,a mission yet to be accomplished,a sucess yet to be conquered, a smile yet to be lived.So I walk on and on and rest and again walk on and on on my usual way..

Yesterday when I saw the mirror, I found myself so ugly, so pathetic so humilative, as if I was the biggest sinner in the court of supreme. All my beauty had vanished. Suddenly I realized I could not unfold the mystery of the supreme. The most precious gift of the supreme to me was lost. I could give no meaning to this beauty; rather I made it shamefull.everything finished even before it could begin. It was all dark surrounding me in the wise rays of wisdom. The al-fresco became saffocative.the colors disappeared. All became grey. The rhythm of the joy turned into the noise of menagerie. Peace could survive no longer. The echo filled the darkness and made it more malign. Gradually all the smiles disappeared. Tears flowed down as streams. The sweetness of rose turned sour. Love turned into hateredness.everything went still. Faith withdrawn. Elegance turned wildness. Dreams shattered all around. Hearts were broken into thousands of pieces.charmness was killed. I closed my eyes seeking justice from the supreme, it was then I felt blood flowing all over me...

Surprises

Surprises comes in short packages and makes you feel special but till you don’t open the package you don’t know if it’s good or bad one. At times surprises makes us so glad that we wish we keep getting surprises the same way. We just go gaga after those surprises. But at times surprises are shocks and we have to pay its price. Though all surprises are unexpected but the bad ones seem more unexpected to us because of human psychology. but as they say,” expect the unexpected in life”. We should not only expect all good happening to us, but even the bad ones because they are the key to our growth of confidence, and success. They create our path to a much more real world, which would actually prepare us to expect the unexpected in a much better way than we think of. So next time when you open the surprise package and find it not that glorious, don’t loose your heart. Just think life has something new to unfold for you. And teach you the best among the rest.